


10 Years Later

by Gumihou



Series: 10 Years Later [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Ten Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28187079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gumihou/pseuds/Gumihou
Summary: Toushirou and Gintoki had been married for a whole decade.Their relationship has withstand the test of time and crisis of all kinds. Recently, however, a new kind of threat from within threatened to ruin their bond. Just what is going on with Gintoki?Is he planning something stupid again?
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Series: 10 Years Later [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2096328
Comments: 14
Kudos: 64
Collections: Gintama Mini Secret Santa 2020





	10 Years Later

**Author's Note:**

  * For [citrus_season](https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrus_season/gifts).



The sun was prying through Toshirou’s eyes. The bright rays prodding him mercilessly into the land of wakefulness like a reluctant prisoner on a death march.

Instead of leaping out of bed in a panic, which he would normally do on a regular working day, he allowed himself an indulgent stretch among the sheets and cast an eye towards the Justaway alarm clock that Gintoki insisted on keeping even after all these years.

Feeling uncharacteristically lazy, he rolled over and flopped onto Gintoki’s futon.

The decade had stamped their mark on the man’s features. What had once been firm, smooth cheeks were now lined with age and laugh lines. The chin more squared and peppered with white stubble. Gintoki really looked like an old man in the morning with his white hair, white struggling stubbles and brackets at the corners of his lips.

Sighing, Toshirou shifted closer to run his nails over the beginnings of a beard. Gintoki had taken to leaving his stubble unchecked for days before shaving it off in one go every other week or so, leaving the skin slightly patchy and unsightly.

The lazy perm, thought Toshirou fondly.

Gintoki was currently snoring with his mouth open. In a fit of mischief, Toshirou tugged at the stubble, making Gintoki snort before going ‘nyamu, nyamu’, his nose twitched in irritation before continuing his attempt at imitating a chainsaw.

Smirking to himself, Toshirou shifted closer again. He always liked the slow mornings. It was the time when he could have Gintoki all to himself ever since the perm had decided to stop being Yorozuya Gin-chan and try his hands at being Meshiya Gin-chan. The snack bar below the Yorozuya office had been willed to them by Otose, and Gintoki now runs the place as some kind of ‘Whatever Hour Diner’.

Basically, the diner will only open whenever Gin felt like it.

For some reason, people were always flocking to it despite its weird hours. Well, to be fair, Gintoki’s cooking skill was phenomenal. Foodie magazines would randomly run articles about the diner and its eccentric owner, bringing in the curious to come. Apparently, photographing the [Closed] sign with the [Meshiya Gin-chan] signboard and their watches to mark the time was a thing. There were more [Closed] pictures floating on the internet than [Open] ones.

Underground betting rings even have people putting money on when and how long the Meshiya would open for certain days of the week.

Hijikata had tried to put a stop to it once and nearly had apoplexy when he found out that Shinpachi was one of the main bookies. It would not have been so bad if the kid had not been 2nd Division Captain of the Shinsengumi!!?

Hijikata sighed, and thumped his forehead against the futon: Whatever, screw the Kyokuchuu Hatto Rule 3, will you? Shinpachi was not fired, nor was he forced to commit seppuku. Hijikata had been spoiled by this super-efficient paperwork machine. He’d rather fire Okita first and suffer the consequences before letting Shinpachi go over something as stupid as betting on Meshiya’s opening hours.

While Toshirou was lamenting over fate, entanglements, samurai spirit and the demise of the Kyokuchuu Hatto, his misery must have attracted Gintoki’s attention because the perm decided to roll over and hug/crush Toshirou under his weight. Toshirou gave an unmanly squeak and tried to escape, but to no avail. The 4-kilo difference between them had grown to an additional 18-kilos. Most of them centred on Gintoki’s wider girth, thicker thighs, chest and biceps. Apparently, making bread by hand was Tough Job.

Gasping, Toshirou struggled to crawl away but those massive arms pinned him down. What Gintoki had lost in lean abs, he had gained in incredible arm strength. Toshirou was no slouch in the strength department, but he was trapped in a bad position and could not use his leaner, faster body to his advantage. Gintoki had literally rolled himself on top of Toshirou and was now going ‘nyamu nyamu’ and drooling down the back of his neck.

“Bastard,” Toshirou gasped, “I know you’re awake!”

A loud, and unnatural snore sounded in his ear and somehow, he was being rolled up in Gintoki’s blanket like a burrito as the man continued to pretend to sleep.

“Gin!”

One red eye cracked open, and a smirked greeted him.

“Oho, look what I caught in my little trap,” he crooned, and then leaned over to rub his cheek against Toshirou’s. Which would have been romantic if it weren’t for the bloody stubble!

“Stop it! Stop it! You’ll give me beard burn!” Toshirou struggled, but there was a thread of laughter in his voice.

Gintoki ran his tongue across the red rashes now covering Toshirou’s cheek. It was not that he did not have his own set of stubble, but Toshirou never could seem to grow facial hair like Gintoki or Kondo-san. He could get away with shaving every other day, unlike Gintoki who would have to shave twice a day with a fine razor if he wanted to maintain a smooth chin.

The licking and horsing around soon gave way to kissing. The stink of morning breath was irritating, but lasted only a few seconds before the warm, soft feeling of being enveloped in the sensation of sliding tongues overwhelmed him.

Suddenly, the covers were ripped off and Toshirou found himself in nothing but his pyjama top as Gintoki leaned over him. The blasted man had taken to sleeping with only the pyjama trousers. Toshirou was now treated to the sight of those bulky shoulder and bicep muscles as Gintoki loomed over him, his presence larger than life, his scent overpowering and his gaze penetrating. It made Toshirou feel weak in comparison.

It was intoxicating.

Things rapidly progressed, it was already a weekly routine of sort. Monday mornings were the sweetest because it’s his off day and Toshirou could forget about everything. Everything except the push and pull of flesh, the sliding of hands under clothes... Casting off his guise as a sharp, intelligent man responsible for so many other lives and just _be_.

_“Gin!”_

“Baby,” a soft mouth suckled at his earlobe, the scratch of stubble rough against the skin just below his ear. A hand on his thigh, sliding up the pyjama top that was a match for Gintoki’s bottoms because there’s no sense buying two sets of pyjamas when the man simply refuses to wear the tops. Also, somehow, even when Hijikata goes to bed with a full set of pyjamas plus socks, he’d lose the trousers sometime in the night…

Along the way, they shared _everything_ , even their pyjamas, much to Toshirou’s secret delight-

“I gotta go to the bathroom-bye!”

It was like a swift wind had flashed by and Gintoki was literally gone with the wind. The rapid thumps of footsteps and slamming of bathroom door the only thing left in his wake. Oh, and a stunned Sakata Toshirou nee Hijikata blinking up into the ceiling, his shirt rucked up and legs splayed open.

“… …”

What just happened?

If it had been an isolated incident, Toshirou would have chalked it up to Gintoki’s Weirdness and left it at that. Though Toshirou’s intelligence had been called into questions by many of his friends and superiors for ‘tying himself down with the local idiot’, he was the Commander of the Shinsengumi and the tactical expert of a group of highly trained people capable of making surgical strikes against terrorism.

Though threats of local terrorism were fewer now thanks to the big shakedown ten years ago and the Shinsengumi had since led a less violent life. Nevertheless, they were still a relevant member of the Bakufu peacekeeping group. By lending their assistance to the local police force and the militia on various missions, such as city patrols, the odd cat rescue and back up heavy hitters for dangerous situations, they had picked up the reputation of being the Yorozuya of police force. It was an irony that he still couldn’t quite bring himself to believe sometimes.

However, it helped that 1st Division Captain of the Shinsengumi was now occupied by one Great Leader Kagura who ruled her division with an iron fist. Shimura Shinpachi was a good samurai of his own right, but what made him the 2nd Division Captain was his investigative abilities. However, these were mere window dressings against his ability to deal with paperwork. Toshirou would have elevated his status to Captain regardless if only because he more than halved Toshirou’s paperwork.

As the leader of the Shinsengumi, Commander Sakata dealt with more paperwork now than swords. Much of the fieldwork had been handed over to Vice-Commander Okita, who worked scarily well whenever he deigned to move from his napping spot. Whatever, Toshirou was grateful that the sadist’s attention was mostly taken up by the 1st Division Captain, whether they were fighting each other, fighting over things or fighting against others, as long as his pile of paperwork did not increase Commander Sakata was fine keeping one eye shut against their shenanigans.

In short, life was good at Shinsengumi.

Life at home was.

Well…

“Ah, I got to go to work!”

“I have a pachinko meet up with Madao!”

“I have a… thing,”

Sakata Toshirou nee Hijikata watched as Gintoki threw one lame excuse after another at his face and ran off whenever they meet. Which was impossible to avoid since they, you know, _live together_.

Just… what is going on?

Was Gintoki in trouble?

He put Shinpachi on the case, basically wasting police resources, but not really since there was a 50-50 chance that Gintoki had really been rolled up in something unpleasant. The man enjoyed playing the hero too much and tended to go overboard with his promises.

He could be doing something for one of those former Joui friends of his or was forced to keep a promise he had made years ago over something trivial, a long-forgotten fiancée maybe. Toshirou would have to sharpen his sword and demand a duel if that’s the case-

“Is that all?”

“Yes,” 2nd Division Captain Shinpachi looked uncomfortable as Toshirou reviewed his reports. “Um, Sakata-san?”

“Aa?”

The young man hesitated.

“Speak up,”

“There’s a possibility that Gin-san is just- he might just be on something really, really important!”

Commander Sakata tapped the papers together and laid it down on the table. “At the Yoshiwara?”

“Well, we did a lot of jobs for them before, all kinds of random jobs like roof fixing and playing bouncer and stuff.”

“The okama bar?”

“We-we used to work there when money was tight-” he visibly wilted at Toshirou’s steady stare.

The last time 'money was tight' at Yorozuya was a year before Hijikata Toshirou gave up his family name. When they started living together Toshirou could not bring himself to knowingly stay in a place where rent was in arrears. All utilities were automatically paid out his account. Whatever money Gintoki earned, he was free to spend it on gambling, sweets, secret fiancées, whatever.

“Please see yourself out, Shinpachi-kun,”

The silence after Shinpachi shut the door was deafening. Everything seemed to press down on him. As the strategist of Shinsengumi, Toshirou was not stupid. He’s good at putting things together and coming up with ways to solve problems. Even if he had not been trained for it, the experience he had accumulated over the years still counts.

Gintoki was hiding something.

Gintoki was avoiding him.

_Why?_

His mind shrivelled away from the possible answers.

He looked down at the report again. Shinpachi had always been meticulous with his reports, unlike Yamazaki. He wished, for once, the young man was a little less detail orientated. That way he could-

No, it’s better this way. Toshirou swept the papers into its proper file and tucked it away.

Time to work.

He slept at the barracks that night. It was not unusual for him to stay over at the barracks instead of going home. However, usually, when that happens, it was to pull all-nighters to chase after leads for really serious cases. He never did it to avoid going home.

Until now.

000000

Commander Sakata stayed at the barracks for three nights in a row.

The men were getting antsy, some were desperately pestering Shinpachi to do something, _please!_

“Just stay out of it,” 2nd Division Captain Shimura sighed, “and for goodness sake stay out of his way.”

“Naa, Pachi, why is Mayora so down in the dumps?” the arm that landed down the back of his neck was not unexpected.

“Probably another quarrel with Gin-san,” he held the sigh back, but it lingered in his chest like a lead balloon.

“Tch,” the young woman spat. She literally hacked and spat into the bushes like an uncouth youth from the backstreets, the finger up the nose did nothing to help her image either, “It’s disgusting, that’s what.”

Shinpachi nodded in agreement. “Yes, that’s a very bad habit. You should stop spitting into bushes.”

“Oi, you want me to spit on you instead, Glasses?”

“Spit on that Sadist of yours instead,” Shinpachi said serenely, literally risking his neck for a quip.

“Oho, we’re getting real brave, yeah?” the arm tightened into a headlock, but Shinpachi had long since mastered the art of ‘Rope Escape’ and slithered away.

He dusted his jacket, “You’re late for your patrol. Make sure to take Vice-Commander Okita with you.”

“Why do I have to patrol with that Chihuahua?!”

“It’s traditional for the Vice-Commander and 1st Division Captain to patrol together,” Shinpachi covered his smirk by pretending to push up his glasses.

“I saw that!” Kagura snapped.

“Enough, you two,” the sharp voice of Commander Sakata whipped through the air. Shinpachi and Kagura automatically straightened up and salute their leader.

“Oi, Mayora,” Kagura soon dropped all formality and bounced over to Commander Sakata, “I heard you’re fighting with that permy fatty?”

“That’s Commander Mayora to you,” Toshirou sighed, having more or less given up trying to make Kagura address him properly. “Aren’t you supposed to be out patrolling?”

“I want to patrol with you,” she suddenly scooted over and clamped her arms around his waist and smirked. “While we walk, you can tell Mami every bad thing that Gin-chan did to you. Mami will side with you no matter what.”

Toshirou patted her on the head, “It’s nothing. Gin is being irrational over something, you know how it is.”

“Then you should just be honoured that a gorgeous lady like me is willing to walk with you around town.”

“Yes, yes,” he pushed her head back with just a little too much force, making the Yato giggle. “Look, your patrol partner sleeping over in his office. You should drag him out. I depend on you to run this place, you know?”

“Yosh! 1st Division Captain is on the job! Oi, Chihuahua!”

As Kagura jogged off, Commander Sakata watched with fond eyes at the redhead. Shinpachi could feel the lead balloon inside his chest swell. “Commander Sakata, about my report-”

“It’s fine,” there was a serene smile on the man’s face when he looked at Shinpachi in the eye. “It’s been good while it lasted anyway.”

000000

“THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!”

Shinpachi exploded into the office of Vice-Commander Okita, who was currently being stepped on by Great Leader Kagura in an attempt to assassinate him. No wait, she was just kicking him awake.

“What is it, Pachi? Can’t you see the Great Leader is busy?”

“Please don’t step on the Vice-Commander like that, Kagura. Also, we might need his help.”

“Haah?”

“I think, Commander Sakata might be breaking up with- with-” he couldn’t say it, he could not make his mouth form the words.

Kagura stopped grinding her heels into Okita’s stomach. The Vice-Commander had pushed up his eye mask to stare creepily at them.

“Wait, did you just say…?” Kagura’s lips trembled, “a- are Mami and Papi breaking up? Getting a divorce?”

“I don’t know yet, but it could come true.” Shinpachi sat down, his head in his hands. He stared at them, “You know what this means?”

The two of them brushed off whatever horseplay they had been engaged in and sat down as well. The atmosphere was very tensed. Vice-Commander Okita pursed his lips, “The re-enforcement of Kyokuchuu Hatto-”

“Mandatory consumption of mayonnaise every day-”

“Early assembly reinforced-”

“Night drills, crack of dawn drills-”

“-and tighter scrutiny over our every single movement,” finished Shinpachi. “Which means we can kiss our side money good-bye.”

A gloom settled over the three.

“So, we have to get them back together, yes?” concluded Kagura as she cracked her knuckles.

“This is a delicate operation, a pig like you won’t be able to do it.” Okita sneered.

“You wanna speak to my fist, yes?”

“Want me to fist you up-”

“Enough!” 2nd Division Captain snapped. The other two quiet down resentfully. “I, Shimura Shinpachi, shall lead this operation.”

There was silence for a moment. Then Okita said, “So, what’s the plan?”

000000

“One karaage set with extra rice, one gyudon with extra beef and one extra-large omurice,” repeated Gintoki.

“Oi, you forgot the extra-large tonkotsu soup. Gotta have the soup,” Kagura said, thumping her fist on the counter.

“An extra-large tonkotsu soup for the lady. What about you guys?” he pointed his pen at Shinpachi, Souichirou and-

“Yakisoba.”

“One yakisoba,” sweat beaded on Gintoki’s forehead as he wrote down the word. It’s not like he did not want to make eye contact with Toshi, it’s just… It was too sudden, he was not ready, okay?

“I’ll have yakisoba too,” said Shinpachi with a smile.

“Yakisoba with a fried egg on top,” said Souichirou.

“Extra-large yakisoba with _two_ fried eggs.”

“Hey! Don’t you have enough already, you tax thief!”

“We’re all tax thieves here, as a spouse of a tax thief, you’re a nominal tax thief too,” Souichirou gloated, smirking at him.

Gintoki glared at the sadist. Whatever, glaring at the sadist was still better than looking at… some other direction.

“Coming right up,” he muttered as he made his way to the kitchen. The diner was done in a very rustic manner. With a U shape counter where most of the customers could sit around and watch as Gintoki cook up their meals. There were three other small tables set on the side furthest away from the door, but it was rare for people to sit there unless the counter seats were full.

There were four seats right in front of him, and all four were occupied by the top four Shinsengumi officers in their black and gold-trimmed uniforms. To think… that two out of the four officers were once Yorozuya’s cute employees…

“Who’s your cute employee? You never paid us!” Shinpachi snapped.

“That’s right, that’s right!”

“The one time we were paid you were literally not yourself!”

“Yeah, yeah, you tell him, Pachi!”

“Tch, whatever. Order up!” Gintoki expertly doled out the yakisoba. 3 regular plates, 1 extra-large plate, three eggs on the fryer, one mayo-

-he found himself writing ‘G n T’ before squeezing the bottle and drowning the words under the disgusting stuff.

The mayo-yaki went up first, followed by the regular yakisoba, plus one with egg and finally Great Leader’s Extra Large Yakisoba with Two Eggs.

The karaage went into the deep fryer next, the grilled beef slices pinged from the oven, so he took those out and toss them in with the onions on the frying pan with some standard soy sauce, mirin, sugar and sake sauce mixture before serving them up in one of his bigger bowls. Just in time to switch out the large empty plate for the large bowl of rice and beef. God, the girl was like a vacuum with the noodles. He scooped out the karaage, set them aside and got started on the ketchup chicken rice. He was good enough with the wok to toss six normal person’s portion of food, which was helpful when it came to serving Yato size appetites.

The ketchup rice was plated, and the karaage went back to the deep fryer for the second fry. He took out a second large plate, piled rice on it, and served it with fresh double-fried karaage. There were some lettuce leaves under the karaage, of course, because food presentation. Even though he doubted that Kagura would really care about what her food looks like, he could at least sneaked her some greens this way.

While she was inhaling the rice and hissing over the residual heat from the karaage and cursing Souichirou for stealing some of said karaage, Gintoki had already cleaned out his frying pan and was letting it heat up on the fire while he beat six eggs for the omurice. He was going for the syrupy egg omelette topped with demi-glace sauce, of course. No short cuts for Gin-san.

By the time the last of the fluffy omelette and ketchup rice disappeared down Kagura’s gullet, the others were just finishing with their yakisoba. Well, most of them. Someone was just pushing their noodles around with their chopsticks through that oil slick pretending to be a condiment.

Gintoki couldn’t help it, a fuse blew somewhere and he hollered, “Hey! My food not good enough for you now?”

The other three stiffened.

The chopsticks stopped moving. Blue eyes looked up defiantly, “There’s too much mayo in this.”

The gasp of horror was followed by a pin drop silence. All eyes went to that horrible plate. While one could objectively conclude that the mayo was really overwhelmingly _aplenty_ , it was not quite at the level where it would normally be objected by a certain Mayora.

“Are you fucking with me now?”

“Why not? Since you enjoy fucking around so much?”

“You-”

“Hey! Where’s my tonkotsu soup? Gin-chan, you’re always forgetting my soup.”

“Not now, I’m having a conversation with your dear Commander here.”

“I don’t care, I’m a paying customer who wants her tonkotsu soup. Serve the queen, Gin-chan.”

A smirk quirked up Toshirou’s lips as he grinned dangerously at Gintoki, “Yes, Gin-chan, serve the lady her tonkotsu soup. Prove that you can do something right at least.”

“Yes, danna, serve the tonkotsu soup. In fact, I want one too,” Souichirou the Sadist said with a smirk. He was clearly enjoying his dinner and show.

“Maa, maa,” Shinpachi said awkwardly, trying to calm things down, but failing, as usual, to keep things from spiralling out of control.

Gintoki snarled, but he turned and stomped into his kitchen. Hot soup slopped into bowls and it was a testament to his skills that he managed to fill one large bowl and three regular ones and set them on a tray without spilling a drop. He turned and nearly dropped the entire tray.

Kagura was leaning over the counter trying to snatch up Toshirou’s plate of dog food. As if she had not eaten 15 times the normal portion just 30 seconds ago.

“Noo!!” they all screamed.

Gintoki quickly rushed over and placed the extra-large bowl of tonkotsu soup into the outstretched hand. It retreated with its prize, leaving the mayo mess alone. He sighed with relief and gave out soup to the others as well.

“On the house,” he said wearily. Gin-san really can’t bear all this stress…

Then, he saw Toshirou scooping mayo from his plate and dumping it into his bowl of tonkotsu soup.

“What is wrong with you!?” he screamed. “That’s perfectly seasoned tonkotsu soup! You’ve just turned it into an oil slick! Didn’t you just say you had too much mayo?! You stupid Mayora!”

“Who are you calling stupid? You stupid perm head!”

It was a relief to fall back into the usual pattern of raising their voices and screeching at each other. The back and forth was like a comfortable groove. Sure, they were going nowhere fast like a bloody rocking horse but at least it was _something_.

“There’s something wrong with both your heads,” muttered Soichirou.

“I’ll say,” Shinpachi sighed.

“Gin-chan’s tonkotsu is still the best.”

Commander Sakata of the Shinsengumi shot up from his chair with a clatter. “What’s wrong with you!” he screamed. “You’ve been avoiding me, you’ve been all squirrelly-“

“-squirrelly?! Hah!”

“You- you…” Toshirou’s face was all red, he was gasping for breath, groping for the words when-

“I bet Gin-chan has ED,” Kagura said bluntly. She had just finished her tonkotsu and was reaching for Shinpachi’s. “I bet that’s it, isn’t it? The reason why you’ve been so bitchy to Toshi, Gin-chan’s Chin-chan is not doing his job-”

“GAAaaahhhhHH!!!”

“Ah, is that so, Danna? You really shouldn’t hide it you know? ED is nothing to be ashamed of, considering your age and bad life choices. Then again, if that it’s the only reason why Commander Sakata stuck around, that might be bad-”

“GYAAAAaaaAAAHhhhh!!! Shut up! Shut up! You stupid sadist! Shut up!” Gintoki looked like he was about to stab Okita, then turn the knife on himself before jumping off a bridge.

“I hate to say this, Gin-chan, but the Sadist is right. There’s nothing really attractive about you except for Chin-chan. Hmph, the long nights I have to hear Toshi scream in bed is-”

000000

Toshirou didn’t hear the rest, because he had fainted. He had blacked out of this terrible conversation while still on his feet. To think that all the misery, all that avoidance, all that cold shoulder treatment was because of Gin…chan?

“Tosshi!”

“Commander Sakata!”

“Ah, do you suppose he’s having a stroke?”

Toshirou found himself staring up at three faces. Three concerned faces despite Sougo’s bored, matter of fact words. The world knows he’s fucked if Sougo of all people felt sorry for him. How laughable. To think… to think that all this time, Toshirou thought that he was the one in the wrong. That Gintoki was losing interest in him because of his lack of- of-

“Toshi, Toshi baby,” there was a dull thud, and a clatter of something followed by a curse. Then Gintoki’s face joined the ones staring down at him. The man’s face was a dull red and suddenly, the messy white stubble, the growing ear hair had that looked adorable just a few days ago seemed terribly irritating...

“So,” Toshirou was used to maintaining some semblance of dignity under embarrassing situations. So what if he was lying on the dirty floor of the Meshiya? “When you say that have been too busy to even sit down and talk to me, that you want us to ‘take a break’…” he all but hissed at this horrible man. This horrible, ugly, overweight, stupid-

“I can explain!” Gintoki yelped.

Four pair of eyes stared at him.

“I, er, I,” Gintoki was wringing his hands.

The smile on Toshirou’s face was awful, terrible, “You’re right, we should take a break.” He pushed himself up and dusted off his jacket. There was a reason why the Shinsengumi opted for black as their signature colour, “You know what, we should all take a break and think about-” he lost his train of thought. His hands were shaking. He had to get out of here. Get away from all this ridiculousness…

“Everybody out!” Gintoki’s voice snapped like a whip.

The shaking in Toshirou’s body intensified and he tried to make himself move. So, in the end, Gintoki really didn’t want him around anymore. What was he expecting? What was he thinking?

What was he-

The shoji door clattered open. It was dark outside, the backs of his subordinates disappearing rapidly into the night. The future stretched open like a gaping maw, threatening to swallow him. Toshirou had never felt so empty before. Even when he was a child, when mother died, there was still the slight hope that his father’s family would-

They would-

“I’m sorry,”

The smell of milk and sweat enveloped him. He couldn’t stop his hands from grasping the soft white protagonist kimono Gin still insisted on wearing after all these years, even though it now stretched across his biceps so much that he mostly wore it pooled around his waist. If this was going to be the last time, he was not going to hold himself back, not when-

The future stretched out like a bleak, dark road.

“I’m sorry,”

He had almost forgotten what it felt like to be held like this. Gintoki’s existence had always been overwhelming, too bright, too annoying.

“I’m sorry for being stupid.”

“I already know y-you’re ssss-stupid,” the syllables stuttered in his throat, but he clung on. He didn’t want to look Gintoki in the eye and see… he didn’t want to look Gintoki in the eye.

“How could you be so dumb?”

“Wh-whose dumb you i-idiot?”

“Only dumb people will tie themselves down with good for nothings like Gin-san.” The words were harsh, but the hand stroking the back of his neck and caressing his cheek was tender. “There, there, you can’t help but be charmed by Gin-san’s manliness, yeah?”

“Who’s manly, you ED,”

There was a little yelp, but the irritation sounded less like annoyance and closer to habit. “Yes, yes, Gin-san admits it. Gin-chan hasn’t been feeling perky lately.” The arms around him tightened, the scrape of stubble grated against his own, “But I swear he still likes you, very, very much.”

Toshirou punched Gintoki on the kidney, lightly. The hard-packed body of the Shiroyasha’s younger days had given way to a layer of fat that protruded over his pants in a muffin top. Not that it stopped the man from being attractive. Toshirou had found the man attractive even when he was rubbing boogers at restaurant tables…

“Ow,” said Gintoki.

“Shut up, I should hit you harder than this,” he punched the jelly belly again.

“Toshi…”

“What?”

“… please don’t leave me…”

“I-”

“I’ll go see a doctor tomorrow, and-” was that a sob? Why would Gintoki-?

“I’ll cut down my sugar too. I’ll shave every morning and afternoon, and promise to only drink one whiskey glass of alcohol a day, maximum. So, please, please don’t leave me.” Toshirou found himself being pushed back as Gintoki pushed forwards, as though trying to burrow himself into Toshirou.

“… Gin,”

“I’m sorry, I’ll say it every day for the rest of- the rest of our life-”

“I don’t want to hear it!”

The body pressing against him shook once. As though someone had struck him from the back which was impossible because there was no one behind Gintoki, he was looking in that direction, there was no one-

“Toshi-”

“Shut up! Shut up! I said it, didn’t I? I don’t want to hear it!” Toshirou leaned back all the way, letting his head thump back against the table. “I don’t want to hear it.”

The silence was thick in the air, there was only the harsh breathing against his ear, the smell of lingering food. When Gintoki attempted to move, Toshirou kicked up his heels and wrapped his legs around Gintoki’s waist. He had picked up judo wrestling a couple of years earlier and he knew that he could crush watermelons with his thigh. There was that stupid bet at the beach once, organized by Shinpachi of all people. His competitive streak overcame his good sense, as usual, and the mess afterwards was incredible-

“Toshi?”

“If you try to leave me, you good for nothing perm, I’ll fucking crush you, little Gin-chan and the Kintoki twins together.” He tightened his thighs threateningly.

The body in his arms went still. Toshirou kept his eyes closed. If he could, he would press his hands over his ears too, like a child unwilling to accept reality. However, his hands were occupied at the moment, clutching a certain person’s shirt to keep them from leaving, so he could only close his eyes and try not to breathe too deeply. Like a prey animal keeping still hoping that the circling eagle would not see him, he kept very, very still.

The scrape of rough cheeks caught against his chin and down his neck. Lips dragged against his neck, pressing and releasing, pressing, then releasing again. He swallowed once, and the pressing stopped. Toshirou held his breath. Lips pressed against his neck again, softly, almost ticklish as it caressed the same spot over and over again.

“I love you,”

His eyes shot open. He coughed. All his limbs reflexively tightened. Sweat began to bead on his forehead as tried to breathe normally.

“Toshi baby,”

Toshirou hated this. Hated how his body would literally react to words from this man. He couldn’t swallow enough, couldn’t catch a full breath of air-

“My lovely Toshi baby,”

A keening sound pierced the air. It took a while to recognise that it came from him. But how could it? He was having trouble just breathing-

“My precious Toshi baby, Gin-san loves you,”

A sob wrecked itself from his throat, tears spilt from his eyes. How humiliating. How could he still-

How humiliating-

The soft little presses went up to his ears, sipping the tears from his eyes.

“I love you.”

000000

_I really thought I’d ended it there, but then a random youtube popped up in my Facebook about Mr. Darcy’s initial proposal to Elizabeth appeared and this happened:_

_This is the link that made it happen._

_https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnfOCG5DcPU_

000000

“So, you’re saying that you really did have Erect-”

“Yes!” Gintoki really did not want to hear the end of that sentence.

“Is that why you’ve been-”

“Yes!” he covered his face with his hands. When he did not hear anymore follow up questions, Gintoki peeked through his fingers and found Toshirou looking down at him with a frown.

“So, all the avoidance, all that secret-keeping and all that running away and-” Toshirou’s long, elegant fingers gestured expressively, “was just because of… ED?”

This is my punishment, thought Gintoki. Man up and talk about it, Gintoki. “Yes,” he said in a more normal tone of voice.

“ _Why?_ ” the look of bewilderment of Toshi’s face, the hurt blue eyes cut Gintoki’s heart like a fine dagger. He would so much prefer it if Toshi had screamed into his face. Call him a lousy madao and chuck him into the streets for his lack of manliness.

“I was-” he defaulted into awkward laughter that abruptly ended when Toshi flinched. “I was being stupid, okay? Gin-san was being stupid,” he spat out. The unnamed fear crawling up his spine again and all he could do was protect himself by being hurtful.

“I don’t understand,” and he didn’t. Gintoki could see that Toshi really didn’t understand any of it. _How could you not? The entire fucking world knew about it. How -_

He was shouting the words. He, Gintoki the bastard sonofabitch was shouting at his tearful flinching lover like the world’s worst abusive husband in the world. He turned around, stomped to the kitchen and stuck his head under the kitchen tap and turned on the water.

The cold splashing shocked him back to his senses.

He had to calm down. They had agreed to talk about this.

The fear settled like a dozing lizard at the base of his stomach.

He had to calm down.

Gintoki picked up a dry tea towel and rubbed his face. The smell made his nose wrinkled, but it did the job.

“Gin?” the voice was small, a little lost and pathetic.

His temper shot up again. For some reason, the more subservient the so-called Demon Commander of Shinsengumi sounded, the angrier he became. No, he couldn’t blame this on Toshi, _he_ was the one in the wrong. _He_ was the one overreacting to every stupid little thing.

Sakata Gintoki might be a horrible person, but he was no coward. He clutched the fear in his belly and dug his fingers into it. Turning so quickly that water droplets flew from his hair, Gintoki faced a startled Toshirou. He kept both hands on the kitchen counter.

“Toshi,” he said, “why did you marry me?”

“What?”

“You’re a man of success, a good looking guy in his forties who look like he could win an ikemen contest against 20-year-olds.” Toshi flushed and looked away, he always did that whenever anyone talked about his looks. “You’re a respected man with people looking up to you. You’re, hell, you’re a pillar of society.”

If anything, Toshirou looked even more confused. “What’s that got to do with anything? And- and it’s not like I could do anything about how I look, you know?”

_This moron._

“Look at me!” Gintoki snapped. The flinch from Toshirou collapsed the anger-o-meter that was raring to explode and he said more quietly, “Look at me. I’m a societal reject. I looked like I’m in my fifties. I have a bloody beer gut and now even Gin-chan decides to give up the ghost.” He slid down the kitchen counter and flopped to the floor, “I’m a fat, stupid perm head who couldn’t even get it up. Why would you even want to be a known associate of a social reject, let alone be married to one?”

“I-is this about money…”

“ _The fuck is wrong with you!_ ” the flinching was getting to him, and he roared, “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you! Me! I’m what’s wrong with you! The fact that you’re even married to a loser like me is what’s wrong with you!”

“You…”

“Are you gonna cry? Huh? You stupid bitch! You should just get rid of this deadweight and- ack!” Gintoki found himself sprawled against the floor. The pain on his side an exploding starburst in his mind. Toshirou had just-

Suddenly, he was enveloped in arms and Toshi’s legs were around his waist and _pain, pain, pain!_

Gintoki squealed as his free hand slapped the floor. The other hand was twisted up over his head, powerful legs clamped down on Gintoki’s torso and when he tried to break away, those deadly thighs threatened to cave his ribs in.

He was being wrestled down in a very unsexy way and considering his proximity to Toshi’s crotch it was-

A squeal of pain exploded from Gintoki again when his arm was wrenched nearly out of his sockets. Oh, kami-sama, he was going to die, he was going to be crushed to death by Toshi’s thighs and it will be a fitting end to his miserable existence.

Mercilessly, Toshi slowly twisted the arm in his grip a few degrees to _where it should not go_ and Gintoki howled, the other arm smacking the floor. His legs kicking and scrabling for purchase to throw Toshi off.

A very pissed off voice hissed, “I told you this before, didn’t I? If you try to leave me again, I’ll fucking crush you and your precious Gin-chan and his twin friends…”

The thighs tightened. One of Toshi’s foot was dangerously close to his crotch and the wrong stomp could-

Gin-chan might not be as perky as before, but they had grown up together okay?! There’s sentimental value if nothing else!

“I give up!” Gintoki slapped his hand against the floor. He was bigger, nearly 20 kg heavier, but was now struggling to breathe as an angry Toshi coiled around him like a pissed off boa constrictor.

“Wrong thing to say!”

There was another twisting motion and Gintoki yelped. “I’m sorry!”

“Wrong again!”

What? Wait, wait, this situation seemed familiar. What was it? Wait, didn’t he just experienced this very conversation just a couple of hours ago?

“I- I love you!” he shouted desperately.

“Shut up!” a foot pressed against his crotch. It was very unsexy. It was so unsexy that he probably never wanted anything near his crotch ever again-

“You’ve had your say, and now you’re going to hear me out!” Toshi shouted, giving Gintoki’s arm another twist.

“I’m listening, I’m listening!”

“I’m quizzing you later!”

“Shit, you- ow, ow, ow, I’m totally paying attention. Gin-san is paying attention. You have Gin-san’s full attention!”

“So, your first question.”

As if that warning grind was needed. As though Gintoki did not have his full attention on Toshi because his attention is always on Toshi, Toshi, Toshi…

“You wanna know why I married a good-for-nothing perm head like you?”

If Gintoki was not already tensed up and in pain, he would have tensed up even more. He braced himself, trying to breathe normally against those legs threatening to crush him to bits. He had gotten a bit thicker over the years, but all that weight was nothing against a trained fighter like Toshi who regularly keeps himself fighting fit to take down men bigger than Gintoki.

“I married you because I like you! I love you! I want to be with you all the time!” Toshi spat out the words like they were curses.

They might as well be curses because Gin-san’s heart felt like they had been pierced by bullets. He knew what being pierced by bullets felt like and this was really kind of similar.

“Which is ridiculous because you’re stupid! You’re a bum who picks his nose and leave boogers under public tables. You grab my butt in front of witnesses and undermine my authority before my men. You gamble all the time and you refuse to wake up in the morning.”

Toshi listed Gintoki’s faults like a dam breaking. Dirty water spilling through cracks and crashing down on trees and drowning villages in its way-

“You’re dirty and you stink of expired milk-”

“Hey-”

“Shut up, I’m talking! You never talk to me. You just push me around, and, and, and you don’t tell me things and just push me to my back and _do things_ even when I said I don’t want to.”

There was a sob in his voice, and Gintoki would have felt sorrier if Toshi hadn’t just _cracked one of his ribs_.

“You plotted against me with Sougo-”

“Never! Gin-san would never- ow, ow, ow, okay, okay, that was only one time and he had a photo of Pony-kata, it was a limited edition Hijikata Toshirou photo with a ponytail-”

“Are you’re dumb?!” Toshi’s voice went high pitched. “You’re stupid and you gamble your rent money away. You make me pay your tabs and do you even know the looks those shopkeepers give me? Like I’m a moron! Like I’m the abused little wife in your house!”

Gintoki felt his spine crack.

He wondered if he would survive till the end of this conversation.

“You want sex all the time! Even when I’m tired and you make me do… stuff!” Gintoki’s vision was swimming in and out of blackness now. “I hope you suffer from ED forever!”

Now that really isn’t fair-

“Oi, don’t curse Gin-chan like that-”

“You get dandruff all over my clothes and you have ear hair!”

“I- what? That’s a lie! Gin-san doesn’t have-”

“You do! The stupid in me even thinks those three little hair in your ear are adorable. Your stubble makes you look disgusting. People keep giving me these pitying looks for marrying a stupid fat old man, but I am the stupid one who still thinks you’re sexy when you jiggle your stupid man boobs and smirk at me through your stupid mangy chin hairs-”

Oh god, how could he ever forget this part of Toshi? His weirdly bad taste in food and gluttony for punishment equals to bad taste in men. Idiots like Kondo, perverts like that Sadist and the combination of those two in Gintoki-

“You- you’ve ruined me!” something popped in Gintoki’s spine as Toshirou howled, wrenching that poor the arm viciously. “You’ve ruined me, so you better take responsibility!”

All the fight left Gintoki.

That’s right. He had to… take responsibility.

Toshirou was still breathing harshly, but he had let go of Gintoki’s arm to flop back onto the floor. Their dirty floor because Gintoki hadn’t swept the place in… ages. He had better get to it.

His arm ached, the pain he felt as he attempted to breathe told him that he had at least two cracked ribs and a whole lot of bruising. No actual broken rib, maybe. His spine had popped at least twice. He was in terrible pain, but somehow his heart felt lighter than it had in years.

Because, Sakata Toshirou nee Hijikata knew who he was. He saw through every flaw, large and small and still married that useless waste of space called Sakata Gintoki. This idiot had given up everything. His name, his former home, his dignity and pride to be called ‘Sakata Toshirou’ and Gintoki was too stupid to properly appreciate the treasure in his hands.

“I love you,”

There was a hitch of breath, and Gintoki had to look up. His neck made a worrying crack, but he ignored it. The blue eyes that stared away into nothingness were shadowed and… just this side of fearful. That the man once known as Hijikata Toshirou, a powerful man of his own right, pillar of society and the dream ikemen of many men and women would fear that a good for nothing like Gintoki would try to leave him was more than just… unfair.

It was wrong.

Those blue eyes have always stared into their adversaries with an arrogance that bordered on cockiness now shied away… afraid to see what was in Gintoki’s eyes. It was so wrong in so many sense to see fear in those eyes.

Gintoki leaned up and stroked back the short bangs off that too handsome face with his good arm.

This time, Gintoki saw it. Even with the fear and uncertainty, Toshirou leaned into his touch. How could he have ever doubt anything from this man?

When Hijikata Toshirou committed to something, he committed heart, body and soul into it. Who knows what kind of bad karma he had accumulated in his past life to be stuck with a useless bum like Gintoki.

“Hey, babe,” when Gintoki tugged, Toshi followed, crawling over to tuck his head under Gintoki’s chin. As though he had not just attempted murder via thighs. Gintoki breathed in deeply and nearly choked at the pain in his ribs as he stared at the ceiling.

“What’s your second question?”

Trust Toshirou to never shy away from difficult things. Gintoki would have been more than happy to end everything here, but-

He considered his question seriously, he owed Toshi this much.

“What do you want from me?”

“What.”

There was a dangerous edge to the not question and Gintoki quickly added, “I mean, there must be something you want, right? Presents? Flowers? A back rub? Gin-chan is out of commission so we can’t do that anymore, not at the moment anyway, but I think I’m horny enough for the two of us, but back at you. Shall we go on more dates? A- a trip to the onsen together, j-just for the baths and food and, and what I really want to say is, what would you like Gin-san to do?”

A long silence.

“… there’s nothing, really.” The voice was soft, spoken to his neck. There was something that Toshi wanted, and wanted really badly. He could feel it.

“Baby?” he pressed his lips against the soft skin on his lover’s cheek, mindful of his stubble scratching those lovely cheeks. “Tell me.”

Another agonising silence. Gintoki was getting antsy. Was he such a horrible person that he did not even know when he had overlooked something his precious husband wanted badly? Who was he kidding, of course, he was. Gin-san was the worst type of scum. However, Gin-san was also a very stubborn type of scum, he would out stubborn this hard-headed husband of his and dig out whatever secret desires he wants and fulfil it. Fulfil it so well that he gets at least 200% marks…

“Well…”

Gintoki could feel his ears perked up.

“It- it would be nice if…”

“If…” Gintoki prompted a little tensely.

“If you could…” the rest ended up in incoherent mutter.

“Uh, sorry, could you say that again?” Gintoki dug his ear, and blew away the wax. Before promptly smacking himself on the face for displaying such disgusting behaviour. Why on earth anyone would want to spend their lives with such a disgusting creature like him was anyone’s guess.

“Would you consider…”

“Yes?” Was it a kink? Does Toshi have a weird kink? Would Gintoki have to dress up as Tomoe 5000 or something and go to conventions? That’s fine, Gin-san is fine doing cosplay, even in public. Anything for Toshi.

“… eating less… sugar.”

“Yes!” wait, what?

“You would?” Toshi suddenly sat up. God, those blue eyes are a killer up close. Especially when they zero in on you like laser beams. Gintoki felt his heart vaporizing. What were they talking about again?

“I- I was so worried that you wouldn’t,” Toshi bit his lip.

The moe gap between Shy!Toshi and Kill-You-With-My-Thighs Black Widow!Toshi was too wide to be called a gap. It’s at least a chasm!

Shit, shit, shit, what had he just agreed to? Less sugar? He might as well be slaughtered, but Toshi was looking at him with such soft eyes and Gintoki knew, _knew_ , there was absolutely no guile behind his baby’s eyes.

Nevertheless, he still has one trump card.

“Baby,” Gintoki said gently, his heart filled with the blackness of a scheme. He was a bad person, okay? A bad person who absolutely do not deserve this moe gap baby Toshi. “It’s going to be hard, but Gin-san is going to do it, for you.”

Aaaah, that shy happy look, Gin-san might actually-

No. He must persevere.

“Um, it’s going to be hard though, going cold turkey and everything.” He cleared his throat, “It would help if you do it with me,”

“What? You want me to give up sugar too?”

_This idiot…_

000000

_I was really going to stop here, but then, an idea hit me and so…_

000000

_The morning after._

“Good morning!”

Toshirou paused in the act of pushing the sliding door open, he leaned out carefully to investigate the situation before fully committing himself.

Gintoki was already up. Which was rare considering the time of day. For him to be up and chirpy was… However, Toshirou was no coward, he pushed the door opened all the way and stepped out into the living room.

There was Gintoki, already dressed and his white curls brushed. Though Toshirou often teased the perm about his hair, there was a great difference between a brushed perm and an untidy perm, as he had already experienced during his stint within Gintoki’s body.

While the curls were not gelled back, they looked less… all over the place than usual.

“Earth to Toshi,” Gintoki smirked, “are you that stunned by Gin-san’s handsomeness?”

Toshirou took the time to take in the shirt and slacks ensemble. It did not look like the man was going out for one of his occasional Yorozuya jobs. The clothes looked too nice for that. Also…

“You shaved,” Gintoki had been nursing an untidy scruff on and off for close to a year now. Electric shavers could only do so much to keep the stubble at bay. “How-”

“Eh, broke out the straight razors,” he rubbed his smooth chin, “you like?”

Toshirou’s hand reached forward like a heat-seeking missile and landed on a very smooth cheek. “Wow, this is…”

The cheek moved as the man smirked, “Well, if that’s the reaction I get, I might just keep this up.”

Gintoki’s lips looked fuller, more inviting than when it had been half-hidden under the thicket of bristles. Instead of kissing him, Toshirou elected to rub his two-day-old stubble against that smooth cheek, with force.

“Ow, hey!” Gintoki laughed, obviously more amused than annoyed. “Is this revenge? This is revenge, isn’t it? You’re trying to scratch Gin-san’s baby butt smooth cheeks with your manly stubble?”

The little game quickly turned sensual when Gintoki dragged his tongue over Toshirou’s lips, parting them like, like… he couldn’t think of a suitable metaphor as wet heat entered him and he felt himself melting…

Soft, slurping sounds echoed within the room and Toshirou felt his knees weakened as he clutched at Gintoki’s shoulder. Finally, their lips parted and Gintoki pressed a soft kiss against his ear, “So, you like that?”

“Hmm,” Toshirou hummed agreeably.

“I should get up early more often,”

“Hmm,”

“You want bread or rice for breakfast?”

“… …”

“Or, you can have me!” Gintoki bounced his eyebrows. For a moment, Toshirou pondered over the logistics of having sex and getting to work in time, before sighing, “…rice.”

“Aww,” wet kisses dragged against the side of his throat, “sure I can’t tempt you?”

“… you can’t get it up anyway,”

“… so mean,” the voice was light, but edged with something dangerous, “there are other things Gin-san could do to make you scream.” The pat on his butt was light but meaningful.

Toshirou cleared his throat, “On my next off day,” he said steadily enough. “I’d rather you take your time.”

“Oh ho~” the glee in Gintoki’s voice made his fingers twitched, but he did not back down. Gintoki gave his butt one more pat and said, “Go shower and whatever, breakfast will be downstairs.”

And just like that, the moment was over. Toshirou flashed a glare Gintoki and turned to leave, but not before swinging his leg up and kicking the perm in the butt. Humph. Ignoring the exaggerated yelp, Toshirou left to shower, shave and put on his uniform. After attaching the sword to his hip, he made his way downstairs.

He opened the door, ignoring the [Close] sign, and stepped into the slightly dim dining room.

“Babe!”

“Aah,” he said.

A table for two was already set with two sets of rice, grilled mackerel, miso soup and pickles. He sat down and sighed. There was something about seeing a proper Japanese breakfast that soothes the soul…

“Baby, you want bean water or leaf juice?”

Toshirou grimaced. “You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?”

“Never~” Gintoki thrilled, setting the coffee in front of Toshirou. “I know you always like your bean water nice and strong.”

“Shut up and drink your leaf juice,” he had to press his lips together in order not to smile.

They both took a sip and grimaced.

“Hey,” Gintoki said waveringly, “do you think…”

“No!”

Gintoki’s mouth turned down.

“No,” he softened his tone. Gintoki could often be coaxed rather than forced. Toshirou had found this out in their decade of being married together. “We agreed to do this together, so if I can’t have mayo you can’t have sugar.”

“You know, we could-”

“I’ll let you shave me with your straight razor.” Toshirou stuffed his mouth full of rice to prevent himself from saying anything else. He didn’t look at Gintoki until he had swallowed his mouthful and was glad that he did. Those red eyes were _intense_. He was sitting with the Shiroyasha now.

“When you say you’ll let me shave you…” the eyes seemed to deepen, “where _exactly_?”

Now, though people often thought that Toshirou had no idea of his own… physical appeal… he had enough people confessing to him and get a lot of inappropriate propositions to understand that he was probably fairly good looking. At the very least, he knew that Gintoki loved looking at him. All those praises, all those ‘ _pretty face_ ’, ‘ _my gorgeous beauty_ ’, and especially ‘ _god, your sexy throat_ ’ had to mean something right?

Therefore, he took a risk. He leaned his chin on the heel of his palm and tilt his head just so and said, “My face, where else?”

Then, he deliberately swallowed.

The pupils in those eyes dilated.

Toshirou fought the urge to cover his throat. Instead, he pretended he did not just invite Shiroyasha to place a fine blade against his neck and continued eating. He couldn’t taste anything, which was a pity since Gintoki’s cooking was superb. He washed everything down with bitter-mayo-less coffee and stood up.

“Well, I’ll be off now.”

Gintoki blinked, and suddenly he was really Gintoki again as he nearly tossed the whole table over in his hurry to get up. “Wait!” he rushed to the counter table and leaned over it, “wait, wait, wait, I got something for you.”

Toshirou waited. Of course, he did.

Gintoki groped around behind the counter and withdrew a cloth-wrapped package. The cloth was dark blue and was wrapped around a square container of some sort…

Toshirou’s thought process fizzled off.

“Here!” Gintoki’s face was bright red.

Toshirou’s limp hands fumbled at the clothed… thing. It felt warm. He hugged it to his chest. It was very warm.

“H-have a good day!”

“Oh, ah, you too.”

Oi, oi, what is this? Are they 6? Are they 16? Are they re-enacting a high school scene? They have been married for over 10 years for goodness sake!

“Toshi?”

“Y-yeah?”

Gintoki leaned in, his smooth cheek had taken years off his face, “I’ve filled it with lots and lots of love~”

“… …” his face felt hot, very hot. “A- ah…”

“Have a good day at work~”

“Ah, y-you too,” Toshirou clutched the bento, it has to be a bento, right? And not a bomb or a prank or something equally ridiculous? He dashed passed the door and tried to calm his heart through a brisk walk when-

“ _Lots_ and lots of love, Toshii~”

He ran for it.

000000

_This is the final part, I swear!_  
_It's just, plot bunnies of domestic drama and stuff are just attacking my ankles..._

000000

It’s the day before Toshirou’s day off and expectations were fizzing in the air.

“So,” the voice was a smooth, hot, chocolaty drawl with a very unhealthy dose of mayonnaise in it. “I believe someone has the day off tomorrow.”

A shiver went up Toshirou’s neck. He coughed. “Well, it’s a Monday.” He was sitting very primly on the cushion by the kotatsu, legs folded under him and body perfectly upright. Somehow, the more proper he looked, the hornier Gintoki seemed to get. Tonight, he had on two layers of kimono and tabi socks, because it was cold, okay? Even with the kotatsu on, he shivered a little at the cold air behind his neck. Should he get his jinbei? Ah, but the kotatsu is so warm…

Hot hands touched the nape of his neck and he flinched at the contact, but then leaned in as the touch solidified into a firm massage.

“Mmm, you like that, huh?” the voice sounded too close to his ear.

Once upon a time, he would have shrunk into his kimono like a turtle, trying to hide his expression, but now he sighed gustily. Leaned back and closed his eyes to better enjoy the sensation, “Mmhmm,” Gintoki had always been good with his hands. “It’s nice,”

Hands traced themselves down his spine and a sharp, unexpected jerk caused his joints to pop, but, oh, the way the tension disappear later was worth it. “Gin,”

“Yeah, babe?”

“… the rest of my back?” It’s been a long time since he last had a full body massage from Gintoki.

The man smirked and suddenly Toshirou found himself lifted to the air in a flutter of flailing limbs. He struggled, of course, he did. Somehow, he lost one sock in the process and there was a sudden drop that made him shriek and clung at Gintoki's shoulders. Powerful arms lifted him effortlessly. He felt weightless, light as Gintoki hugged him closer.

Toshirou snuggled against Gintoki’s broad warm chest and blinked, “Aren’t you cold?” the man was only wearing trousers and a jinbei. The naked toes on his one foot was already curling in the cold air.

“Unlike someone, I’m well insulated,” Gintoki smirked, eyebrows bouncing.

Toshirou pressed the heel of his hand against the upper swell of Gintoki's bare chest and kneaded it slowly. It felt… very soft and comfortable.

“Babe?”

Toshirou sighed and leaned his cheek against Gintoki’s chest. “It’s squishy,” he murmured, “s’nice.”

Hearing that echoing laughter through that squishy chest was even nicer. Gintoki carried him across the room. Toshirou had to slide the door open for them, but that was fine. The bedroom was cold though, and his toes felt like pinpricks of needles were stabbing at them. The futons had already been laid out. Normally, they’d sleep separately, but on days they have long hard sex, it was more prudent to trash one futon and sleep together in the clean one later.

It was a testament to Gintoki’s strength that he managed to lower Toshirou, who weight over 60 kilos, gently onto the futon. Toshirou punched Gintoki on the bicep and whined, “How are you so strong when you’re so lazy?” It’s totally unfair.

A white eyebrow rose up, “Gin-san works out, you know?” then, Gintoki grasped his left wrist with his right hand and breathed in, puffing up his biceps and chest. It should look ridiculous, especially since that pose did nothing to hide the pouch sagging over worn pyjama pants. Toshirou choked on his spit. “Gin-san lift loads of weights.” He struck a second pose, turning to face Toshirou, curled his arms in from the side and breathed in again.

Toshirou couldn’t take it anymore. He blushed. He wanted to hide under the blankets, except… he was lying on the blankets so that was no help. He covered his face with his hands instead and whined, “Why is your chest so…”

“Oho, you like Gin-san’s man boobs?” the shameless man did a strong man pose and somehow… made his chest muscle dance.

“Stop! No! How do you do that!?” he shrieked. Toshirou felt like he had just glimpsed something perverted and tried to crawl away in shame.

A hand caught his ankle, his naked ankle, and tugged. Toshirou cursed as he slid easily across the slippery blanket. Large hands pressed against his spine and the next thing he knew, he was flat on his stomach, with an 80-kilo male sitting on top of him. There was still enough room for him to strike out if he wanted to. There were more than three ways he could struggle out of this position. However, he laid passively under Gintoki as the man pressed the heels of his hands into Toshirou’s back muscles and-

“Aaaaauuggghhhh!”

“It’s better if I use oil, but the room is too cold for you, so we can only do Shiatsu style.”

Toshirou’s only answer was a pathetic moan. The point of Gintoki’s elbow pressed a couple of inches below his nape and the crackle of a joint there released the tension of the past weeks into the air and dispersed with his next moan.

“Good, babe?” he could hear the smirk in Gintoki’s voice, but he was too comfortable to care. This, he thought dizzily, has to be one of the best things about being married to the Yorozuya. Aside from the chef level food, and a roof that’s always properly fixed, walls and tatami mats always patched up. He never had to deal with plumbing issues or-

Crack. _Yelp!_

-or broken furniture or moth-eaten curtains. It was all dealt with before it was even a problem. Back at the barracks, he had been the one to arrange for all of these matters to be dealt with. Professional tatami makers called in, a gardener, stone masonry, whatever, all those were now under Shinpachi now. Hehe, and he could just enjoy this living space free of worry-

_Uunnnh!_

-with a professional, _personal_ masseuse to attend to him at the end of the day, and people thought he was crazy when he married Gintoki. Hah!

“Well, well, well, looks like someone’s having a good time.”

Of course, he had to deal with Gintoki’s teasing, but that’s nothing really, compared to the benefits he gets.

“Want me to do the front?”

“Hmm…” Toshirou rolled over when Gintoki’s hand coaxed him. He could only imagine what he looked like now. Face slacked and silly with fatigue, hair in a mess and his face flushed with the embarrassment of being looked at directly by someone. He blinked, his slowly whirling mind finally realising that Gintoki had stopped moving.

“Gin?”

A thumb stroked across his bottom lip.

Gintoki’s eyes were very soft when he leaned closer to say, “You are very beautiful, you know?”

Toshirou felt his face grew hotter. He looked away. Then, he looked back at Gintoki from the corners of his eyes, because he couldn’t not look at Gintoki. Not when they were in the same room together. “Gin?”

“What the hell are you doing with a bum like me?”

“Gin…” this time, there was a warning thread in his voice. His body had been rendered soft by the massage earlier, but that only meant that he could launch himself up even faster and strike any idiots within range.

“No, no, Toshi, hear me out, yeah?” Gintoki sank down gently, pressing his chest against Toshirou’s and leaning against his arms down on either side of Toshirou’s arm and more or less caging him in. Toshirou could still whip his elbow up and strike the side of Gintoki’s head in a quick stunning strike that would take out his eardrums if he wanted to.

He laid still.

“… …”

“If you’re not going to talk-”

“I’m talking, I’m talking. See? This is Gin-san talking!”

“-since you don’t seem to hear very well. We might as well change the question around.” Toshirou sighed, leaning back into the futon. He wriggled his toes on the blankets before tucking it against Gintoki’s leg to keep them warm. “Why did you marry _me_?”

“What?”

“You heard me,”

“Um,”

“And don’t say it’s for my pretty face.”

“Hah!”

“I’ve seen the women that stalk you.” There was that purple hair ninja, and the Courtesan of Death to say the least.

“The women that- what about the women that stalk _you_!” Interestingly, Gintoki sounded outraged. Somehow, this pleases Toshirou.

Wait, what? “I don’t get stalked…”

“Oh, really? Really?!” Gintoki suddenly sat up. The rush of cold air where there had been warmth caused Toshirou to shiver involuntarily. “What about that Kuriko girl, huh?”

“Kuriko… you mean Matsudaira’s daughter? What about her?”

“Oh, she was in love with you, isn’t she? Wants to marry Prince Mayora,” Gintoki threw up his hands.

“Yes… but she’s kind of shallow. She dumped her boyfriend immediately when she saw my face.”

“Yeah well, that’s not the only woman who fell for your face, isn’t it?” Gintoki pressed.

Toshirou was really confused now, it must have shown on his face because Gintoki scrubbed his hands through his permy hair and groaned, “Stop, stop, look. I know, I know I’m being stupid about this.” He pressed the heel of his hands against his eyes, “I’m being stupid about this.”

“Gin-”

“Shut up!”

Toshirou flinched.

Gintoki dropped his hands and was immediately remorseful, “I’m sorry, I’m being stupid...”

“I can agree with that,” the quip came out automatically from his mouth.

A burst of pained laughter exploded from Gintoki. “It’s just- those women all want you for your face.”

Warm hands cradled said face. Somehow, it always amazes Toshirou when Gintoki touched him like this. The thick, calloused hands were warm, strong and made him feel safe. “Gin…” he said softly, “what do you like about me?”

They were staring into each other’s eyes now. Toshirou could see the pupils in those eyes dilate as they came closer, and closer, and stopped just before the tips of their noses touch. “Your eyes never waver when you look at your enemy.” Gintoki’s voice was hushed as he said this. “Even when you’re afraid, you don’t ever waver. You look into the pits of hell and stare them down like you’re going to make them commit seppuku.”

Their foreheads touched.

“You’re afraid of me.”

Toshirou bared his teeth, “Oi, who’s afraid of a perm like you-”

“You like order, and have a certain way of doing things. As for me, well,” the grin was all Shiroyasha. “I’ve been called the agent of chaos.”

Toshirou went quiet. It was true. He was afraid of Gintoki. He had been afraid of the man’s ability with the sword. Afraid of what he represents. Afraid of what the future would bring through association with a man who was friends with Joui leaders. Afraid of the chaos, somethings always go wrong when the Yorozuya was involved. Afraid of his feelings for this man. Afraid of losing his feelings for Mitsuba. Afraid of losing himself to these feelings.

“So,” the White Demon said, almost casually, “ _why are you with me_?”

Toshirou trembled. His teeth chattered.

“I-”

His fingers spasm. The cold seemed to have permeated through his bones.

“I, I, I’m more afraid of- of-”

The words were dragged, kicking and screaming out of his mouth and tears spilt out from the corners of his eyes from the sheer force of the fear that yanked at his consciousness and-

-the Shiroyasha stroked a hand against his throat, gently.

He couldn’t look away. “G-gin,” his hands twitched up and clutched reflexively at the jinbei. “I-” he hiccupped. Choked and-

-and then, it was warm again.

He was warm again.

“ _Gin_.”

000000

_The end. I swear._

000000

Seeing the tears spill out of Toshi’s eyes like silver beads seared something in Gintoki’s heart. _This idiot_ , he thought fiercely, _this stupid idiot_. Even as he cradled the trembling form against his own stupid, clumsy body.

_This stupid fucking idiot._

How could anyone allow themselves become so vulnerable?

It goes against the law of survival. Toshi was like a moth burning himself against an artificial light. If he wasn’t careful, Gintoki was going to zap his wings off.

More likely, his wings had already been seared off, and Gintoki was still mesmerizing him with his damned artificial light. _Stupid Mayora_.

“Hey, baby,” the endearment dropped easily from his lips. In the beginning, he had meant the pet names as a jibe. A way to poke fun at the man’s ikemen face and see him riled up. The blush of acknowledgement was unexpected, and Gintoki tried other forms of endearment, just to see the red bloom across those pale cheeks.

_Honey, lovely, precious. My precious honey baby._

The way the Demon Commander of Shinsengumi blush and pressed his thighs together like a schoolgirl caused blood to shoot up into his head. Both his heads. Well, only one of his head now and it’s debatable which was the more useful one.

How could you just hand yourself over to me?

If Toshi had been like Sarutobi, he’d probably have just shut the man out. In fact, he had even started out this relationship just to toy with the man a little. They had sex, it was good, the end. Or so he thought until one day he caught Toshi, then Hijikata waiting for him in their usual meeting place nursing a sake bottle. The look of soft delight on the man’s face at the sight of Gintoki was-

He had been-

The thought that _I must protect that smile surged through him and never quite left._

There were holes in Hijikata’s emotional armour, and Gintoki has access to each and every one of them. Ironically, it was his desire to protect that lead him to continue this… thing with Hijikata then. Often times, he would test the man. Be late for a meeting, ‘forgot’ dates and at times even recklessly jeopardised the man’s career out of a sheer childish desire to fulfil the ‘ _I wonder if he’ll choose me, or that!_ ’

Sometimes, he wondered if he had somehow inadvertently trained Hijikata into enjoying all these mental and emotional torments. For they must be torments. Hijikata was afraid of him. He could smell it. The fear when he pushed just a little too far. The dilated eyes and the involuntary flinch after unnecessarily rough sex.

Oh my, let’s talk about the sex.

In Gintoki’s completely objective and unbiased opinion, there’s nothing in the world as beautiful as a wrecked and exhausted Hijikata Toshirou. White skin mottled with bruises and teeth marks, nipples as red and swollen as his lips. The cloudy blue eyes, the whimpers of ‘no more, please’ followed by the slightly sharp ‘ah!’ when Gintoki took him again and again. Leaving him so wrecked that he could barely swallow the saliva trailing from the corners of his mouth…

Passion frightens Hijikata and the devil in him knows it. Which was why he pushed it so much. Before Hijikata, he had lived almost like a monk. Sex was to be had if he really wanted it, Sarutobi hung around and offered herself often enough, but Gintoki had never really been interested.

Sarutobi enjoyed being abused.

Hijikata… not so much.

What Toshi liked, really liked was to be pampered. Soft stroking, gentle voices and pettings. So, of course, being the absolute jerkwad he was, Gintoki basically forced Hijikata into SM play. Handcuffs, ropes, slaps on the butt and licked the tears off that beautiful face like it was made of sugar water.

Well.

Karma got him now.

Like a well-trained pervy dog, Hijikata’s tears should have caused Gin-chan to spring up like bloody Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong about to blow some poor town to bits. The lack of stirring in his nether regions was… unsettling.

He rolled their bodies to the side and tucked the crying face against his chest. His man boobs. Gintoki had freaked out when Katsura first pointed them out, which prompted him to lift weights in an attempt to get rid of them. That only caused his chest and biceps to grow bigger. He had been so worried about appearing unattractive to Toshirou, kami-sama, they had been married close to five years then, that he had gone on a training trip. He had disappeared off from the face of Edo to cultivate himself in the old fashion way. Meditation under the waterfall, climbing mountains etc.

He put on an additional 5 kilos in chest muscles and biceps. At that time, he had not realised that it was his diet that was causing all those problems. Thanks to Toshi’s steady income, they had meat almost every day, and being the greedy pig that he is, he ate more than his fair share because Kagura made five bowls of meat look normal against her fifteen. Toshi never ate more than his normal one bowl portion, sometimes two when he’s feeling indulgent. Which was why he was still the lean, mean, killing machine he is now. Gintoki’s stupid weight lifting and excessive protein diet had, well, basically caused him to hulk out.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t just stay on a training trip forever. A month of hard living was more than enough for him. He had been on his way back to the Yorozuya office, still lamenting over the access bulge when he more or less bumped into Toshirou. In hindsight, it was stupid to think that he wouldn’t see Toshi on the way home, even in the dark. They were living in the same space after all.

It was the first time he saw a cigarette fell out of Toshi’s lips.

Being the person that he was, Gintoki decided to brazen it out and did stupid Mr. Universe poses in front of his husband. Pretending that he had bulked out intentionally, haha. He thought he had imagined the shine of drool on the corner of Toshi’s lips.

He hadn’t.

It turned out, Toshi had a thing for muscular men. If the way the little prude suddenly started throwing himself against Gintoki’s chest was any indication. And for a brief time, Gintoki kept a wary eye out for all muscular men around Toshirou. Men like Takatin. Amanto like Hedoro and all muscular women too. However, while Toshi continued to blush or go slightly hazy eyed whenever Gintoki took off his shirt or stretched, he never showed any interest in other men, or women, or cat people thing. Muscular or otherwise.

In fact, his closest rival had always been… mayonnaise.

To be honest, even mayonnaise was taking a back seat now.

Most of his mountain muscle had turned to jiggly jelly now. However, considering how Toshi had just rubbed his cheek against ‘the squishy’ he was not at all opposed to Gintoki’s man boobs. Which led Gintoki to think that-

-perhaps

-the only thing this stupid Mayora was attracted to was… Gintoki?

If that was true then…

Gintoki sighed and rolled them under the covers. The blankets felt cold, which caused Toshi to shiver and snuggle closer. Against the squishy. Maybe, he should take up weightlifting again.

“Babe?”

A sniff. Blue eyes blinked at him from under the blanket.

“Hey, want to, you know, go on a training trip with me?”

000000

_I might write a sequel…_


End file.
